Democracy, Tolerance and Enlightenment

There is a small, but very loud, group of people in Serbia that style themselves better than the rest of their countrymen. They are the "Other Serbia," gathered around the radio/TV network B92, the Liberal Democratic Party and so-called non-governmental "human rights" organizations (who are financed almost exclusively by foreign governments, and care not a whit for human rights of Serbs). These "true believers" even see the quisling Democratic Party and its sycophantic leader Boris Tadic as "too soft", too willing to make compromises with the underfolk - the Serbian people, the Serbian Orthodox Church, academia and press. Naturally, they see themselves as the paragons of democracy, tolerance, and enlightenment - and in the pursuit of these lofty ends, consider any and all means acceptable.

(That they are an instrument of foreign governments isn't even questionable; just look at their analogs set up in Russia, funded from the same source...)

Once a week, the radio show Peščanik ("Hourglass") channels the feelings of these "Otherserbians" (not to be confused with "Serbnationalists"). The two hosts - Svetlana Lukić and Svetlana Vuković - have taken to publishing transcripts of the show; the latest book of these transcripts, volume 10, was recently reviewed by Slobodan Antonić. I've translated the review here, omitting perhaps a sentence or two; those who read Serbian can see all of it here.

Please note that Antonić writes with dripping sarcasm, and that the language and imagery used by the self-proclaimed champions of "modernity and reform" can be nauseating to some readers. Proceed at your own risk.

Any errors in the translation are my own.

Educating the "People Gone Wild"
(Pečat, issue 12, May 6, 2008, p. 48-50)

Peščanik is often dubbed a "cult show" of the Other Serbia. That is quite literally true, as the authors and fans of Peščanik are an ideological and political cult, gathering once a week by their radios to listen to the same preachers. Those most dedicated will buy the books of collected sermons.

One such book is before us, containing the transcripts of shows between September and November 2007. It contains the core ideological messages of this cult: belief in their own ideological and political exceptionalism, contempt and hatred towards their surroundings. They curse the sin-soaked people for not accepting the cult and not giving itself fully over to its shamans. But the cult is noble, and instead of leaving the unworthy to their fate, it is ready to make sacrifices and lead it into deliverance. All they need is a tiny bit of power - and the entire society will become like Peščanik.

"My people are a special kind of stupid," says Petar Luković (p. 314). "Serbia is not a normal country," agrees Svetlana Lukić (p.99). It is a "pit of a country, a suffocating room, a cell and an insane asylum both at once" (p.9). Latinka Perović says the same thing, in a more sophisticated way: "Serbia is a very neglected country with institutions that aren't functioning, and very far away from any notion of rule of law." (p.329). It is a country, adds Ivan Kuzminović of the Helsinki Committee for Human Rights, where "thirty percent of people are missing teeth and voting Radical" (p.248).

It is hard to love such a pit of the toothless. "We Serbs are a people who worshiped Milošević and killed Đinđić," explains Sreten Ugričić. "It is hard to love that, belong to that, and identify with that, it is hard to be a Serb patriot" (p.347). So one must understand why this cult believes that "contempt for the people is the highest form of patriotism" (Ugričić, p.346). However, members of this cult are not snobbish, willing to look upon the sinful with contempt from on high. They want to help, and "take responsibility," so they have a plethora of advice.

One such advice is to disregard the will of the people. "Oh, if everyone heeded the will of the people, we'd have all been fucked," explains Petar Luković (p.235). "The very worst thing here is that the elected politicians follow the will of the people," he warns (p.235). "The government has to listen to the citizens, yes," concurs Nataša Kandić, "but those citizens have to have certain values" (p.260). And since the toothless people don't have the right values, the government ought to listen to the elite, gathered around Peščanik. If only they are given a chance, they will perform their social mission: "to educate the people gone wild"(Dubravka Stojanović, p.265).

"We need a self-transformation," claims Nikola Samardžić, "we don't need to pollute the European Union, like so much biological waste" (p.61-2). Of course, such wild people and "biological waste" needs to know order before even thinking about the EU. "Do they need our garbage? I don't think so," says Samardžić (p.62).

To educate and enlighten such garbage, one has to resort to extreme measures. Since, as Nenad Prokić educates us, the last witch-burning in Europe happened in Serbia (p.153), perhaps it would be proper to apply similar measures to the unworthy populace: "Nothing will get better in Serbia until the Holy Spanish Inquisition starts burning people at the stake. Think of it what you will!" (Prokić, p.33).

"Either we get them, or they will get us," agrees the paragon of tolerance Biljana Srbljanović (p.152). "We need to attack, but not piecemeal, but straight at the head, where they are most dangerous," she adds. Sadly, it's impossible to burn the entire people at the stake, but one could make an example of the nationalist elite. "I have only one thing to say about the Serbian elite: Napalm is all!" said Petar Luković in the previous volume (book 9, p. 282). Thus the Other Serbia easily resolves the issue of "biological waste," between the stakes and napalm.

As they see it, garbage is not confined to "nationalist" parties. Its fountainhead is the Serbian Orthodox Church. The Patriarchy, explains Svetlana Lukić, "is still looking for the first decent human being" (p.353). Since there are no decent human beings within the Church, that explains how Petar Luković commented on the hunger strike of Bishop Filaret: "The pig slopped" (93). The Church pigs will have their turn, once the "education" begins, followed by the nationalists and all the other "fascists."

Speaking of which, "fascism" was in particular a topic of this collection. Rajko Đurić established that the number of Nazis in Serbia is "over 250,000" (p.191). "Fascists and Nazis," explains Đurić his numbers, "aren't just those who wear the swastika. There are salon fascists, thought fascists, academic, literary and media fascists..." (p.191). How to treat these professors, authors and journalists is clear: "They are Hitlerspawn, and there is no talking to Hitlerspawn; for communication, one needs logos, a mind, reason" (p.191). Dealing with the estimated quarter million Serbian fascists, as Peščanik counts them, is simple: "The depth of thoughts and breadth of soul of a Nazi can only be measured by a bullet" (p.190). Burnings at the stake, napalm and bullets - and there we have it, the holy de-Nazification and decontamination trinity of Other Serbia.

In addition to "Serb fascism," this book also dwells on uncovering the evil Russian imperialism. Until recently, Peščanik paid no heed to the gigantic heap of biological waste out east, perhaps too busy with the one at home. Now, however, the evil Russia has invaded Peščanik's blissful existence. They have discovered that all the evils that have visited us throughout history came from - Russia!

Nenad Prokić thus lectured us that the Russian secret service, the Okhrana, was behind the key assassinations in Serbian history: the 1860 murder of prince Danilo in Kotor, the 1868 murder of prince Mihailo in Belgrade, the 1903 murder of King Alexader Obrenović - and of course, the 2003 murder of Zoran Đinđić (p.28). But Prokić was not satisfied with these incredible discoveries - he also taught us that the Russians were behind the Holocaust! Namely, says Prokić, the Nazi genocide of Jews would not have been possible without the Okhrana agent Matvei Golovinski writing the "Protocols of the Elders of Zion" in Paris in 1898 (p.28). Hitler drew inspiration from the "Protocols," and "Golovinski was believed by Churchill and Stalin"(p.28). And this satanic Empire is now thought of in Serbia better than our eternal friends and worldwide benefactors, the United States? Never!

No wonder Pera Luković rages whenever he sees something Russian on TV. "I watched the Russian version of 'My Nanny' on B92, and you know what? I'd have these Russians shot, and I'd shoot those who bought the show, too. It's a Russian home, man, we're watching a reality show from a fucking Russian home!" (p.232). Only the evil Cuba can measure up to the evil Russia, so Luković does not cloak his rigtheous anger over the dire Cuban threat to the Other Serbia: "Fuck Cuba, fuck all of Cuba with both Fidel and Raul, and all their brothers and sisters if they have them. Fucking cunts!" (p. 234).

Mirko Đorđević explains the justified odium towards the evil Cuba. He is horrified that now "Che Guevara is used as a symbol by the most aggressive of nationalists" (p.307). And since it's well known that fascists are easily identified by wearing Che T-shirts, as well as those that say "Rossiya", it is finally understandable how thye preachers of Peščanik arrived at a number of some quarter-million Nazis in Serbia.

Finally, this volume introduces a sudden discovery by Peščanik of the incredible potential for Euro-reforms in the - Socialist Party! This was claimed as early as September 14, 2007 by Miljenko Dereta. Asked how to ensure "the maximum support for the pro-European option," Dereta explained his vision: "There is a surprising potential in the Socialist Party of Serbia" (p.48). This potential, Dereta says, can only be realized if the SPS does the following : "I expect of the Socialists to reform, denounce the past and help the pro-Europeans. We need to support those leading the SPS in that direction. There is a generational change in SPS, and those who were directly involved in the events of the 1990s are dying out. New people will replace them and reform that party, and they will need help. They should not be forgiven, or forgotten, but they will need help to make a new step"(p.48).

The prophetic Dereta clearly saw the danger of Euro-reformers never winning a majority in Serbia, so he demonstrated his tolerance by offering the warm embrace of the Cult to the outcast SPS. Who can say the Cult is discriminatory, who says the only things they offer are napalm and bullets? No, Dereta says nicely, "Don't forgive, don't forget, but help them make a new step." And look how useful listening to Peščanik can be, in the aftermath of the May 11 elections. All it takes now is that "one small new step" by Ivica Dačić; his membership won't get absolution, but if he makes that one "right step," everything will be all right. Every radio will be Peščanik, every TV will be B92, every newspaper will be the "Helsinki Charter" (newsletter of Sonja Biserko's Helsinki Committee for Human Rights - GF.), every school will become a "summer camp for civic instruction," and the government will finally begin "educating the people gone wild."

Once every Serb is issued his personal "self-liberation kit", there won't be much need for the holy trinity of decontamination. The SPS would be transformed, the Orthodox Church will call for entries for a reformist Patriarch, Serbs would stop wearing Che T-shirts, and the Serb professors, authors and journalists will know the beauty of The Hague and the Pentagon. Then N. Samardžić would have to work less on cleaning out biological waste, P. Luković will put down the chainsaw, and N. Prokić will put down the torch.

All will be happy, all will be in NATO - except for that trifling quarter-million. But after that group of infidels is treated by the holy trinity of decontamination, the remaining hard-liners will have to listen to the holy sermons of Peščanik, read the holy books of Peščanik, and meet the holiest relic of Peščanik, the Blessed Chainsaw. Following such testimonies, who would dare not believe?